Simple Mathematics of the Kibaki regime in the GNU / NARC-K era

25 April 2007 by KENGO

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Introduction To Things You Need To Know To Pass Mathematics In The Kibaki Regime

On December 27, 2002, Kenyans were sure that they had made the right calculations as far as their governance was concerned.


Assumption 1. Minus Moi Equals A better Kenya

Moi and his herdsman politics had been such an imposing figure in Kenyan politics that we can all be forgiven for assuming that simply removing Moi from power was going to change the country. So consumed were we with having Moi gone that we forgot that in 2002 Moi was not even on the ballot!

To some extent, we had a right to make that assumption. We had grown so used to blaming Moi for the problems we had that we did not think that other people might be just as bad. We were so busy trying to keep Moi out of our 7 O’clock news that we did not much care Care Le concept de « care work » (travail de soin) fait référence à un ensemble de pratiques matérielles et psychologiques destinées à apporter une réponse concrète aux besoins des autres et d’une communauté (dont des écosystèmes). On préfère le concept de care à celui de travail « domestique » ou de « reproduction » car il intègre les dimensions émotionnelles et psychologiques (charge mentale, affection, soutien), et il ne se limite pas aux aspects « privés » et gratuit en englobant également les activités rémunérées nécessaires à la reproduction de la vie humaine. who we put in his stead.

When our children failed to perform well in examinations we were sure Moi had something to do with it.

Otherwise, we wondered, how come Kabarak High started doing well when he started praying there every Sunday? Besides, did anyone else notice -we wondered- that when a poorly performing girls’ school was renamed “Moi Girls This and That” it suddenly found its way into the top performing schools? It is a fact we accepted, that Moi’s name in a school meant sudden good performance.... We didn’t even bat an eyelid when we started having schools with names like “St Teresa’s Moi Girls High School” sprouting in rural areas like Lubao.

When we disagreed with our spouses, for instance about finances, we saw Moi’s hand in it. Despite any role we might have had in whatever financial problems we faced, we found comfort in thinking that if only Moi wasn’t as dictatorial as he was, the economy would be better, and our financial problems over, for good. After losing a football match we were sure that the octogenarian president could have done something and we blamed him for not doing it.

Over years Moi was elevated to a position that no man should ever have. He was the sole cause of all our troubles, and by extension we allowed ourselves to think, therefore, that if we removed the cause of the problems we would be safely on the path to prosperity.

Assumption 2: Minus Moi Equals Minus Vices

Tribalism would end with the end of Nyayo era. Poverty, corruption, roadside presidential decrees, political sycophancy, nepotism, misappropriation of national resources, kitchen-cabinet politics, favoritism and other ills would be a thing of the past. Godfathers and godmothers would be ushered into retirement, and we expected to have political orphans to whom we would look as a reminder to our children of what not to do.

Gone would be the magic of turning erstwhile bankrupt pharmacists into overnight millionaires. Without Moi, we assumed there would no longer be multi-billion corruption scandals, no Anglo-Leasing. Without Moi, nolle prosequi would not be entered in favor of the Delameres of this country because there would no longer be one set of laws for the rich and another for the poor.

Without Moi there would no longer be miscarriage of justice because of ‘national security reasons’. There would be freedom of the press and no storming of media houses. There would be essential guarantees Guarantees Acts that provide a creditor with security in complement to the debtor’s commitment. A distinction is made between real guarantees (lien, pledge, mortgage, prior charge) and personal guarantees (surety, aval, letter of intent, independent guarantee). of civil liberties to the citizens. Without Moi there would not be GSU with tear gas canisters at every corner of the streets during demonstrations. There would be a new constitution. Poor hawkers and small -scale traders would be free to eke a decent living in the country. There would be no land clashes, no evictions in the night, no insecurity.

The era of running down profitable national institutions like the Kenya Railways and Telkom so that they could be sold for a hoopsie would be gone forever. Mathematics of calculating profits would be a simple as this: If Telkom Kenya owns 60% of Safaricom, and if Safaricom makes a profit Profit The positive gain yielded from a company’s activity. Net profit is profit after tax. Distributable profit is the part of the net profit which can be distributed to the shareholders. of Kshs. 12 billion, it follows that Telkom Kenya, being the 60% shareholder realizes a profit of Kshs. 7.2 billion. Without Moi we were sure no one would write off an institution with a Kshs. 7.2 billion profit as ‘not profitable’.

Without Moi we were sure that no one would try and sell off Kenyans’ right not to be dominated by foreign investors by reducing the requirement that there be 70% local shareholding in any investment to a mere 30%. As such, we never anticipated a government minister of information who would suggest totally disregarding that meagre 30% to allow a well-connected group of ‘foreign’ investors to acquire a license for a second national telephone operator!

Assumption 3: Minus Moi Equals Plus Virtues

With all the vices gone, in would come zero-tolerance to corruption, appointments on merit, integrity, service to the public, equity Equity The capital put into an enterprise by the shareholders. Not to be confused with ’hard capital’ or ’unsecured debt’. in the distribution of public resources, equal access to opportunities for all Kenyans, regardless of their ethnic or regional background. There would be the kind of transparency that would stop government ministers from suggesting that public funds would be used to ‘shake’ the country during referendum campaigns.

Leaders would be held responsible for wrongs done during their watch, and the powers that be would not reinstate to the cabinet people who were tainted by allegations of corruption. We thought that without Moi the standard would be that of Caesar’s wife- that public officers would not only be of integrity, but also beyond reproach!

We expected the president not to appoint cronies to positions of public service merely to reward political loyalty. We expected that old school mates who disagreed with first ladies would not be hastily moved to cushy public service appointments.

We assumed that it would no longer be possible to have multiple presidential appointments of members of the leader of opposition’s family to various commissions. We assumed that a leader of opposition who was uncomfortable with a government of national unity poaching members of his political party into the cabinet would be as uncomfortable with the government appointing virtually his entire family to heftily paid positions- his uncle in the Civil Aviation Authority, his rich sister with no clue about poverty in the Poverty Eradication Commission, his brother in another commission, his cousin in the cabinet....

Definitions of terms:

In attempting political mathematics, it is important that the following terms be clearly defined for ease of calculations.

1. NARC-K= National Alliance of the Recently Corrupt Kenyans.

2. GNU= A Government No one Understands

3. Economic Growth under GNU = an economy that is growing nothing useful for ordinary citizens.

4. KANU= Kenyans Against National Unity (Ever notice how their leader is ever complaining about a government of national unity, as though unity is an abomination?!)

5. ODM-K= Opportunistic Demagogic Movement in Kenya.

6. NSE= A private company of owned by enterprising magicians with the ability to convert,

7. without any visible demand-supply logic, cable sellers into multi-billion shillings outfits overnight while at the same time reducing national supermarket chains with visible daily sales into ‘kiosks’.

8. IPOs- Illegal Privatization of Organizations by the magical private company named above without due regard to the law that prohibits haphazard and uncontrolled privatization of national institutions and organizations like KenGen and Safaricom.

9. Over-subscription of shares= Illegal borrowing of billions of shillings from the domestic market for undisclosed projects to the detriment of innocent Kenyans encouraged to borrow loans from favored, politically correct ‘equity’ banks, to their own peril and to the advantage of well-connected shareholders!

10. Investment in the Stock Exchange= Illegal exploitation of gullible Kenyans leading to speculative trading Market activities
Buying and selling of financial instruments such as shares, futures, derivatives, options, and warrants conducted in the hope of making a short-term profit.
, above-mentioned over-subscription and burdening innocent Kenyans with debts they do not need. (Whose idea was it to encourage Kenyans to borrow money to invest? Can one invest what one does not have? Is it right to con poor Kenyans into building one

11. bank’s portfolio months before it floats its shares in the NSE?

12. Free Primary Education= Over 1 million pupils enrolled in elementary schools, over 260,000 students annually unable to secure places in Form 1, over 10,000 poor students qualified to join university unable to secure places in university.

13. 5.8% Economic Growth= 200% increase in cost of transport, 125% increase in the cost of maize flour, over 300% increase in cost of sugar, over 250% increase in the cost of paraffin, 200% increase in the cost of farm implements, thousands of jobs lost by Telkom Kenya and Kenya Railways workers, daily harassment of street vendors and hawkers.

14. Mungiki= Any young, unemployed Kikuyu man, especially those living in the slums who cannot afford the Kshs. 2,000 to 5,000 demanded by the Rhino Squad and the Special police unit. This definition excludes self-confessed leaders of Mungiki who are looked on favorably as supporters of the National Alliance of the Recently Corrupt Kenyans, are potential parliamentary candidates in‘difficult’ constituencies and are touted by government chief whips as the antidote to opposition popularity.

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